Bob’s last months

May 19th, 2011 by Jean

As some of you know, my husband, Robert Masters, in 2008, became severely ill with congestive heart failure and his fine doctors told him the truth– he would not last out the year.

With the help and care of our wonderful housekeeper Bernie Harrington, and the compassionate attention of Elizabeth Austin as well as other kind friends, Bob made it through to July. During that time, I learned not only about being a caregiver but also a good deal of what it means to be present when someone close is dying. (Bob and I were married for 43 years.)

I found that I was most useful to Bob when I took time to “interview” him about his life, asking him to offer his reflections about the 80-plus years he lived on earth. As he reminisced about his life, sometimes the happiness of remembrance overruled his physical pain, and from time to time, he would chuckle with a new insight or recognition, “So that’s what it meant!”

Bob “walked on” at the end of July 2008. Believing that life is not a sunlit journey to a sunless shore, I like to think that Bob is some where else, flying with dragons (his favorite means of imaginative travel) and receiving the keys to the conceptual kingdom. Now this intellectual giant knows, and knows that he knows.

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5 Responses to “Bob’s last months”

  1. Arny Mindell says:

    Dear Jean
    your description of Bob’s last visible processes is awesome, i am touched by him, and by your “sight”. Thanks for writing about him, big hug arny

  2. Tina Winther says:

    Such a rich way to spend the dying process with a loved one. Thank you for sharing this. Again today you are teaching me that relaxing into the moment, getting more of our senses involved, helps us to better tune in to the depths and beauty at hand. I am so grateful to connect with your teaching at this time!

  3. Shiila Safer says:

    Jean, thank you for this post! I had the very same experience with my father-in-law. Interviewing him gave him great pleasure at times, but more importantly, gave him the opportunity to say things he had not said before. He spoke about his experiences in the war, which caused him nightmares, yet his wife never knew what they were about, until she heard our interview. He got to give messages to each of his children, which meant so much to them after he was gone. It was truly healing, releasing, and an intimate sharing which I was blessed to be part of. Those last days are so precious. And, if we can be fully Present for them, miracles can occur!

  4. Hello Jean,

    What a wonderfully touching moment to glimpse with you in such a private journey as the completion of a lifelong love you two shared. Yours must be a love that continues beyond life to the next adventure!

    I was so glad to see that flying with dragons is a “favorite thing”. I have done this since I was a child. But then dragons have been made so wrong in our culture that I thought perhaps, as the Dragons have come back to fly with me through the many times I have done the Imaginal Body Exercise, that I was hesitant to go with them. However, when I communicate with them, I discover the advanced civilization of the Great Celeste, of which our Universe is but one star.

  5. marie (Mclaren Sforza) Roberts says:

    I miss him — and you, Jean.


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